(Disclaimer: Welcome to a judgement-free zone, we’ve all been there and will almost certainly be there again soon)
It’s happened again. Hasn’t it?
You’ve woken up the morning after the night before and while your memory is hazy, you distinctly remember saying the same things you say every weekend.
- “I’m only going out for one”
- “I’m not going to get that drunk”
- “Make mine a double”
(Bonus point if you said all three)
So you lay there in bed, scour your social media for incriminating files – including the cringe-worthy Snapchat story that you thought was ‘cracking’ last night – and slowly begin to realise that all is not well.
As a desert-dry throat – scientifically proven to be 99.9% worse after consuming garlic mayo – aching head and churning stomach start to overcome you, you begin to think:
‘Could this really be the end?’ Of your weekend, you over-dramatic bunch
Well it needn’t be.
If you follow some of these handy hangover hints and tips, you can keep Monday morning at bay and not feel like your world is painfully ending, winner winner.
- Water is essential, try resisting the urge to glug and sip instead (you’re only going to spill it anyway, let’s face it).
- I’m not going to suggest drinking soft drinks in-between alcoholic ones on your night out because guess what, you’re already hungover. And let’s be honest – is anyone that sensible anymore?
- Eating food – before or after your night out – is a must though, you need something to absorb the alcohol and lessen it’s after-effects, I’ve always found that eating yoghurt before a night out is a great idea because it counteracts the acidic properties of alcohol.
- Bananas in particular are full of potassium and natural sugars, which your body is craving right now, try it with some honey and yoghurt – it’s actually pretty good.
- If you need pain-killers for that headache stick to paracetamol – Ibuprofen and Aspirin are again quite acidic – so it’ll ease your stomach too.
- It sounds gross but sipping water with Dioralyte in it (for upset stomachs) will re-hydrate your body and put back the salts that your broken seal removed early into the night.
- Believe it or not if you can find the energy to exercise, it’s always made me feel better afterwards. What more disgusting way than to sweat out your bottle of Smirnoff? But please drink water as you exercise, or you might make yourself dangerously dehydrated.
- Try to avoid caffeine- another diuretic – but green, fruit or ginger tea is fine: they all have bowel cleansing properties, nice.
- Finally, don’t give in to ‘hair of the dog’ – you’ll only pass the feeling on until tomorrow and if there’s anything worse than a hangover, it’s a two-day hangover.
So there you it, a fool proof way out of your hangover. But if none of the above works for you:
- Admit defeat
- Stick on a pair of sunglasses
- Order that Domino’s
- Wallow in shame my friend.
But please don’t bother promising to ‘never drink again‘ cause we both know I’ll see you this time next week. Shameful.